The Path of life

So I realized that it has been like a year since I wrote on the blog. I guess I should write a few things. The past few days I have been doing a lot of reflection. I think that is a positive thing. Yesterday, Kris, her parents and I attended the funeral of her great uncle. He lived just 45 minutes north of Logan. He and his wife were always so good about coming down to special events like weddings and baby blessings. He died at the ripe young age of 96. As I attended his funeral and listened to his 7 surviving children speak, I was overwhelmed with the desire to be a better father and husband. Again that is a good thing. I also thought about how out of a marriage, came such a large posterity. It was amazing to realize that the majority of the chapel was filled with children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Here was the true legacy of the man.

I am reminded of the teachings of our Savior when he talked about the real treasures of our life. Its not all the material things, but its the eternal things, like our family that matters most. Yet in life we get caught up in all the material aspects. Keeping our jobs, paying our mortgage, having food on the table etc. It is easy to forget or neglect the most important items, our family. In recent months I have been following the life of a young girl that is the niece of an old high school friend. This young girl was only 3 and diagnosed with a rare and deadly form of cancer. Her last few months was spent with her parents enjoying the last precious moments. There is a hope of eternal reuniting . As I have read the facebook posts, watched the tribute videos and witnessed a community come together to give her and her family joy in a very hard time, I am thankful for the knowledge that I possess of the eternal nature of families. Because of that knowledge, death I know is just a stage of eternal progression. I have also recently witnessed that with my own family as my brother-in-law lost his mother to cancer. Again the knowledge that I now have brings me some peace while others may seek but haven't found it quite yet.

With that said, today I am reminded of my beginnings down the path that has led me to where I am today. It was a path that began being born of goodly parents. These two parents, showed me great love and patience. They were witnesses to me of true love that was shared between two individuals. They loved and still do love each other much more than I probably can fathom. They were kind and patient with me. They allowed me to grow up free of doubt and fear of the future. They showed me and my sister what it was like to be parents.

It was a path that took me to my senior year of high school, with confidence and surety of a bright future. It was a path that led me to question who I was, and what I truly believed in. It was path that brought me into contact with individuals that would teach me about a loving Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ. A God that loved all, and had prepared a plan so that all men may be saved if they will just believe. It was this plan that touched my heart as I began to see that our Father in Heaven, will give us many chances to come unto him and most importantly there are many mansions. The hell that I had heard about, wasn't an eternal damnation, but those in my family that I loved but had passed on, could still find eternal peace. It was a path that led me to the waters of baptism, committing myself to serve Him who saved me. It was a path that led me through mists of darkness yet I held onto the rod and survived my first year of college committed to serve him where ever he would send me.

It was a path that led me to give up everything for two years and serve the people of the Dominican Republic. It was there, that I saw firsthand the power of God in healing, blessing and changing people's lives. It was there that I saw once again the patience of my two loving mortal parents as they lost dear ones and I was unable to come home to be with them. It was a path that led me home after two years with the ability and confidence to face all challenges and trials and that would lead me to my eternal love, my beautiful Kristina.

Now 14 years later this path continues to lead straight ahead. I know not what mortal trials we will face, but I do know that the path leads to one place. That path is back home to my Father in Heaven, but with me, will be all those that helped me along the way. With me will be my family, my friends and all those that accept the truths of the restored gospel. But also the path will be kind to those that choose another direction. For in the fathers kingdom there are many mansions and may I add different kingdoms of glory. And so as I reflect this day, I am thankful for the path I have followed and for the friends I have met. I am thankful for my beautiful six children, who continue to insist that they have birthdays. But probably today, I am more thankful for my testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ. I know He lives. He is my Redeemer, my Savior. He is who I can go to regardless of what is happening in my life. He is always there.

The Pride of a Parent.

So I think at times I think I am a little too prideful of my kids...but dang...they are awesome. This weekend...Jacob scores 14 pts in a basketball game, Emma passes a figure skating test and Julia just got done performing in the Cache Civic ballet's performance of Firebird. She was awesome!

check out these pics!

Sunday's and Testimony

So I realize that I tend to blog on Sunday's. I think it is because Sunday is the one day a week that I am actually in a reflective mood. Today was Stake Conference which meant we didn't have church until 1:00pm and we went to the Logan Tabernacle (uncomfortable seats). I decided before hand that I wanted to have my older children actually sort of pay attention (I didn't realize the reaction I would get from my 8 year old..lets just say not pleasant). All I asked was that they write 2 sentences about each speaker's topic (only one for the 8 year old throwing huge attitude). It wasn't the most pleasant conference, but I do have to say, I loved the sentences I got. They were actually listening and got things that I didn't get out of it (probably because I was still furious about the attitude). It reminds me of something I learned years ago when I was training to be a teacher for seminary classes. A wise old man once said (I am paraphrasing)...that you don't have to sneak up on the youth and teach them about God...they want to learn it. Now that I have six of my own, I can see that. I still worry about them, but there are moments that I see a light that I haven't seen before. That light is the light of testimony. It is a light that like a flame grows from a small spark until it consumes the whole soul. And just like a real flame there are times that wind blows and begins to cover that flame, yet given the right angle instead of blowing it out the wind causes the flame to get larger. So it is with our struggles, our challenges. It can either take the flame of testimony out, or it can build it, enhance it.

And so on this Sunday, my testimony has increased a little, which is what I needed. Now I need to fan that flame with positive things that will continue to grow that flame instead of smother it.

I have updated some pictures on facebook here is the link http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031123&id=1394908724&l=a0fdea8214

Do you sometimes just wander what the future will hold. I know that sometimes I just want a crystal ball so I can see the future and just know that all will be well. I think that more and more as I get older, especially with my kids. In the last week a couple of people that I know either through work or from church were involved in some serious accidents. As a parent, it is somewhat easy to control your kids when they are young. You are usually where they are and so you feel like you can protect them.

Its this philosophy that makes me want to be the driver everytime we go anywhere. I figure that if something happens I can control the situation. But in reality once your children get older, they now make decisions and go places without you. You give up that basic control and hope that they will make the right decisions and be safe. I know, my oldest is only 11, but in a few short years he will be old enough to drive and then...wow..I better stop thinking...freaks me out a little! Anyway, I guess it just gives me small perspective of a much grander picture of life and eternity. And I guess that someday I will have my crystal ball and be able to see all things at once...but until then I will just have to make due with hope that all will be safe when I can't be there to protect them.

Here is a link to a photo album on facebook with some current photos..

Julia's Baptism

So last Saturday was indeed a special day in the Brownell House. My third child Julia was baptized. So far so good, 50% of my kids are now baptized, hopefully that becomes 100% followed by 100% married in the temple, etc. I am really in awe of my life as I look around and see my family accept the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for that I was able to go into the water and baptize her. But I think I am even more thankful for the opportunity I had to lay my hands on her head and give her the greatest gift that she will ever receive in mortality, the gift of the Holy Ghost. I was amazed at how I felt, and how the words of her blessing flowed from my lips. I am always in impressed by the beauty of the Lord's words as it flows from the lips of those ordained to bless. Indeed we live in a great time of world, a time of great darkness for some, but great light for others. Here are some more pictures of that day (this is for you Michelle and Brandon!)

A time of renewal

Whether it is the fresh snow all around, the thoughts of another year gone by or the prospect of a new one, it seems that I find myself in a very somber/reflective mood lately. Here I am the father of six children. They are by far the greatest symbols of my life. I have a lovely wife that somehow keeps up with all of them and even finds time to be there supporting me. My job is great, and I work with some of the best people I know. I get to do what I love to do in my church assignment (teach) and really, life is pretty good. Its not perfect however. But is life suppose to be perfect? Can you imagine if it was? Would we ever be challenged and grow as people if we didn't have problems creep up? I guess that is why I get tired of all the negativity in the world. Life happens, and we just need to deal with it. Over the past few years, I have known people who have faced incredible challenges yet they persevere. Over the years working at the Credit Union, I have gotten to be friends with quite a few people. They will come into my office sit down and we will begin to expound on life, politics, sports, and religion. In those 10 or so minutes I have learned a lot from them. I have seen a couple of these individuals take life challenges and with a positive attitude make the best of a dire situation.

One such man was Gary. He was diagnosed with pancreatic/liver cancer. He and his wife were still quite young (early 50's) I had taught his daughter in Seminary. After a few chemo treatments, he decided that he wanted to live his last few months free of being sick from the chemo. The chances that Chemo was going to help was less than 50%. For the next few months he would pay me a visit. I could tell that he was in pain, but he always had such a cheerful countenance. We would talk about life and about his family. He had everything planned so that when he went, his family would be taken care of. He loved his family so much. He took his final trip to Mexico, and I looked forward to seeing his pictures. I will never forget the last day I saw him before that trip. He was so happy. A few days after he got home, he passed away. I never saw those last pictures. But when he left, he had left on his own terms, enjoying every last second. He wasn't depressed and he had left many memories for his family and for me. He was a great example to me.

So as I begin this season of renewal, I look forward to the future. My children are getting older more talented and at the same time I have less control over their lives. All I know is that when I slip through the eternal veil, I hope that my children will know me for who I am. I hope that I can convey to them my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I hope that they will know that I have loved their mom with all my heart. I hope that they will know that I have tried to be a kind person, caring about others. That I care about my country which we live and that I have tried to make it a better place. I hope they know above all else, that I love them regardless of the situations they may find themselves in. Isn't that what we all want, someone to love us unconditionally? Luckily all of us has an example of that, a loving Heavenly Father who sent his Son Jesus Christ to help us get through this time of mortality.

So as I think about renewal it is I am recommitting myself to the values and principles that I know are true. Doing those little things that will make me stronger and more knowledgeable, both in spiritual and temporal ways. If I can do that, 2010 will be my best year ever.

Football and life

So today I was at my son's football practice (I am the offensive line coach) and our head coach starts to philosophize with 11 and 12 year old kids. It was pretty funny and I doubt any of the kids were paying too much attention but it was a pretty good pep talk. It did make me think about sports and the impact it has on the rest of our lives. There are some great life lessons learned while playing sports, either in a team setting or individually.

Its funny, on this team the coaching staff all went to school together. So often times they are talking about the "glory" years. It has been a lot of fun though to go out there and watch my son improve his game. This is his first year and most of the kids have 2-4 years experience. In the last month he has improved so much. My wife asked me if I got tired of having practice almost every night. I have to say that I love it. It almost rejuvenates me. Anyway the first two games have been blowouts we won 34-0 and 40-6. This weekend we play our first region game and hopefully it will test us somewhat.

This weekend I am also blessing my son Joshua. He was born almost a month ago on August 7th (a day before Jacob's b-day). It is an awesome responsibility to be the father of 6 children. They are all different yet they share a lot of similar qualities. It is crazy to think that I am getting older and that means my kids are also. Jacob started middle school, Kira started Kindergarten. Each one of them are bright and intelligent. They are each good at various things. I look forward to many years of watching them mature into young adults. I am sure as a grandparent I will enjoy watching my grandkids do all the things that their parents did..but just a bit better. Isn't that what life is about!